I THINK GOD IS PLAYING A FOOL OF ME.
why is it that when i want to go swimming, it rains?
and something horrible happens every single time when i want to get out of the house? i don't want to stay in the house anymore.
i shall go and visit pet.
maybe this time i can go with claire. i don't know. i'm too full to walk. i'm too tired and lazt to do anything. and yet, i'm too restless.
mummy is talking about playing pool. i don't know if i even want to go. i don't even know where. when i ask. i get scolded. like. what the hell.
He really is playing a fool of me. and the rain jsut got heavier. fuck.

i'm sorry if everything i post seem to be like a damn soap opera. i know. claire told me this before. she was like. "is it so fucking difficult to do something that makes you happy?"
great. i'm tired. i want to slepp and yet i can't.

pool later? i don't know. i want an outlet to scream my lungs out. fuck. i want to cry. although i have no idea why i want to cry.

CHARMAINE!
remember the little date we're going to have? with yummy food and emotional movies. i think its going to be a great night. we have so much planned! I LOVE MY BACKSIDE!
we should do this more often!
i still don't know if i should ask her to come or not.

should i?
or should i not?
just let me knock my head against the wall and i'll let you know what i have decided.